Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Learning to Love

Something about riding the airplane home yesterday from New York sparked me to scribble this down on the back of a magazine subscription card:

Things I love (or like) about myself and why

1) the freckles that begin emerging from hibernation right around this time each year. during a swim meet as a kid i overheard a woman telling her daughter that freckles were 'kisses from angels,' and what kid doesn't want to be kissed by an angel? every time i see my summertime freckles i think of those angel kissess...



2) until the age of 2 or 3 I had fine wispy baby hair that curled in little tendrils. as an adult my hair air dries like i've rolled around in bed all night, so with enough straightening products (or my standard messy bun) I am able to tame my locks into some sort of managable do. However, I try to leave my temple wisps alone. They tend to curl in their own unique way and this makes me feel like a kid again.

3) the white stretch mark grooves above my hip bones. for years i did not know what stretch marks were, though they have lived with me for a long time. when i'm stressed i tend to feel the grooves in my skin and it's strangely calming. i often see ads about stretch marks, and truly am shocked when purple ones appear on my inner thighs, but the white ones i carry proudly, taking me back to a time when i loved myself and was oblivious to the fashion world's disgust with all things lumpy and bumpy.

4) how my eyes are blue or green demending on my outfit or surroundings, and how when i look at them in pictures they seem to be the color of the sea. perfect for a mermaid-lover.




5) during basketball & volleyball practices i used to lift up my shirt, concentrating intently, while sticking my finger in my bellybutton. while i rarely wear jewelry, i always wear my navel ring. just showing my bellybutton some love.

6) my webbed toes. i used to tell people i was 50% mermaid (from the waist up, of course), but with webbed toes I think I could bump that up to at least 51%...



7) my 3 front teeth on my lower jaw. nobody can tell, but i run my tongue along the permananent retainer and think how strange it was to have two teeth fused together with only one coming in to replace it. strange, and fitting.

8) after a strenuous yoga workout i often notice how prominent my veins are in my arm, moving into my chest. the blue against my pale skin intrigues me, and makes me feel powerful.

9) running my fingers through my hair i often stop on the spot of a 3rd grade head injury. we were squirreling around in line, on our way to lunch, when i slipped and fell on a i-beam. stitches and get-well-cards later, i still have the inch long scar. only i know, and my hairdressers, who often ask to tell the story. i sometimes contemplate what it would be like to be bald and see that scar in the mirror.

10) the missing 1/2 inch on my left side. i think this is god's way of simultaneously granting my request to be 6' (ever since i was a kid, i always said i wanted to be 6'), and honoring the part of me that wants to be closer to the average size woman. i think it teaches me the art of balance

Ten simple things that I love about myself. And I was amazed at how good it made me feel to write them, to own them, and to give them the love that they deserve.

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